Boundaries For Ourselves
"Boundaries. Many of us have a hard time setting/upholding them. Why? We believe it is "unkind" behavior. We want others to like/love us. We think that by relaxing our boundaries, it (shows or gives) more respect to people we value. However, remember that in order to be respected back in the specific/appropriate way related to a relationship, we "must" create and uphold boundaries. If not, others can abuse them. People will cross boundaries and test our limits...simply because we "allow" it. Find a balance, and boundary lines that are comfortable and acceptable to you. What is okay? What is not okay? Where is the line crossed? Let others know. Explain each boundary and the consequence or action that will result if it is crossed so that others are "aware" and "clear" about it. If people are not clear about your particular acceptable boundaries, and you don't ever enforce them, they will not "know" exactly...what they can and what they cannot do. Boundaries are not unkind. They are simply normal and expected personal lines of respect. Enforcing them shows you respect yourself and others too." -SP
Why do we have boundaries?
To keep us safe and to know what our limits are.
I totally need to sit down and create some concrete boundaries for myself and how people are allowed to treat me. My kids have totally tested my limits. I don't totally blame them for their actions though because #1- they are little kids and #2- I haven't sat down and explained in detail what my boundaries are. Same thing goes for my friends. Sometimes I start feeling like I cave in to the wants and needs of others when I'm already feeling overwhelmed or stressed out. I need to learn to say when needed, "No, _______ doesn't work for me today." I'm still learning to respect myself and the demands of my time as a wife and mother. It's important to have some down time every now and then.
What boundaries have you set for yourself?
What works well for you? Please share.
To me, it is very wise for parents to set boundaries for their children.
My husband and I had two boys when we bought our house just over 3 years ago.
Our boys were known to be wanderers, especially our younger son.
We decided to hire a guy to fence in our backyard.
Since the fence has been up, our kids know what their boundaries are when they go in the backyard.
It is comforting to know that the fence helps to remind the kids of their boundaries.
But what happens when our kids get older?
We will have to sit down and figure out what boundaries are fair for them.
What boundaries have you set for yourself and for your family?